On this day, October 21, 1797, the USS Constitution slid into Boston Harbor for the first time—fortified with oak so thick, cannonballs bounced off her hull. They’d call her Old Ironsides soon enough, and for good reason. She was fast, fearless, and built to outlast anything the seas could throw at her.

Now, if I’d been foolish enough to take to piracy on the open ocean instead of the rivers and backwaters I knew best, a ship like that would’ve been the end of me. No raft of mine, no matter how clever the ambush, would’ve stood a chance against her guns and crew. The Constitution wasn’t just a warship—she was a warning to anyone who dared test the strength of the new American republic.

Good thing I stayed inland. You can hide in the bends of the Mississippi. You can vanish in the fog of the Ohio. But out there on open water, with Old Ironsides bearing down? There’d be no escape, only splinters.